Marriage is not only photo shoots with fabulous scenery and walks under the moon. This is a mutual work for which gratitude is love, peace and harmony in the family. If there are problems in the relationship, they should not be left to chance, as the result may be a divorce.
Long marriage is not for everyone. Living your whole life with your soulmate and raising children is not as easy as it might seem at first glance. A lasting alliance is built on love, trust, respect, and only then on responsibilities.
What happens is that lovers do not think about the long-term relationship and the degree of love. After the wedding, the couple expects life, routine affairs and other chores. Someone goes through a difficult period, but someone understands that his wife is no longer on the way. Relationship difficulties can lie in wait both in the first years of marriage, and after 5 years.
In today’s article, we will tell you how to survive a crisis period in a relationship. It will be useful not only to those who have difficulties in marriage, but also to all married couples.
The main problems that may arise in marriage, and their solutions:
Before the wedding, you seemed to be millet created for each other, and now you can conflict over the color of the wallpaper for the living room.
It is a mistake to think that the partner has changed after the wedding, and in most cases the problem may not be in him.
You need to remember the situations that you decided unanimously before the wedding — going to a cafe, restaurant, etc. Now you need to compare them with current issues. True, are they different? If you previously discussed and planned entertainment, now you have more important questions – apartment renovation, major purchases, choice of place of residence. There are also other significant issues – when to have children, how to save and spend family income.
Controversial situations give rise to other disagreements. Therefore, it is predictable that conflicts may arise in less significant issues. If no action is taken, unresolved issues will accumulate, generating resentment that can destroy the marriage.
Ideally, you need to build mutual understanding before marriage. But if it’s too late
to talk about what happened before, it is necessary to save the situation that has already developed.
In a relaxed atmosphere, discuss your plans with your spouse. Find out from her how she sees life together and tell her about your vision. It is important not only to describe the desired and upcoming events and features of family life, but also what could have happened in a decade.
Compare your answers and analyze how they match. You need to try to put a puzzle out of them and find a compromise in contentious issues.
Passion lost in sex
One of the common situations in a long marriage is chilling in sex. The desire can fade away both in women and in men, but it happens that the unwillingness of sex between the spouses is mutual. This situation adversely affects family relationships, even if some couples think that this is normal after many years of marriage.
First you need to find the reason for the withering of passion in an intimate relationship. If someone has problems with sexual health, it is important to discuss this with a second half without hesitation and consult a doctor. Many sexual problems can be eliminated with modern treatment methods.
Another common reason is monotony. If for many years to make love in the same pose and atmosphere, sooner or later it will bother. Sexologists advise to introduce diversity into the intimate life of spouses. This can be done with a change of scenery, new poses. You can try interesting toys and accessories from a sex shop. Changes can be supplemented by changing the image and even familiar spirits.
Make a highlight and travel, during which you can make love in a hotel, tent and even on the beach.
Few common topics for conversation
At the beginning of the relationship, it seems that you can talk on different topics without ceasing. But during the long years of marriage, it may turn out that there were few common topics for conversation, and therefore interests. As a result, you live under one roof, but each has its own road and hobbies. This is another destructive model of the family.
A typical example of such a family is that during the day the spouses work, and in the evening the husband spends time with friends and the wife with friends. So where will the general conversation topics come from?
It is important not to look for topics for conversation, but to generate them. To do this, you need to spend more time together. Spend a weekend in nature, a picnic, joint entertainment. Tell each other how your work day went. Such tactics will not only bring together as spouses, but also unite as friends, and friends always have something to talk about.
Get together new knowledge, skills, play board games, and relations will soon begin to improve. It is also important to discuss issues that are significant for the second half – from situations at work to choosing a wardrobe.
You used to talk about love, travel, pleasant leisure, but now life has become the main topic – repair, cleaning, cooking and other household chores. To begin with, it is worth noting that all spouses have household questions, the main thing is that they do not negatively affect relations, because disagreements in everyday life and its predominance can cause a collapse of relations.
Often spouses exaggerate the role of life in a relationship. Most often this happens because of the inability to effectively plan family time. One such example is cleaning for an entire day off. While with proper planning, you can clean the apartment in a couple of hours, or even less, and then take the time to do other things. You need to learn how to manage time, otherwise it will manage the family.
Together with your spouse, you should plan ahead for the weekend – how much time should be allocated for cleaning, cooking, and how much – for leisure and entertainment. You also need to take into account that cooking and cleaning with the whole family speeds up homework. At the same time, when planning, it is also important to take into account the opinion and plans of the second half.